I had this dream where I was British

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Pick up this Barena Chambray over Mr. Porter

This other night I had a vivid dream where I was living and working somewhere in Great Britain in a non-specific city. I did a lot of “British” things in that dream like wear really cool looking clothes like the above Barena Chambray. I wore everything buttoned all the way up without a tie. I wore this subtle plaid blazer over the shirt that I left unbuttoned. While it never actually rained in my dream like it does in the TV shows I did seem to always be hanging out in bars. The Arctic Monkeys kept getting played on the Juke Box while me and my mates were out for a night of drinks.

My mate Josh had popped over to my pub and was regaling us with a story of this abandoned house across town. The rich couple who owned it had a huge fight. They were getting a divorce.

The divorce was anything but happy and all the assets were frozen for some reason. Josh told us the maid of the house wasn’t getting paid. She had told Josh where all the valuables were in the house and had dropped some oblique hints that she wouldn’t mind if the rich bastards got robbed.

We were a few too deep into our cups when we all unanimously decided in the middle of the bar to go over to the house for a look. James bought us a quick round of shots and then before I knew it we were riding motorcycles to across town. We all grabbed our cool blazers from the coat rack and rode our bicycles across town.

People were out on the streets with drinks in their hands. I caught snippets of conversations as me and my mates zipped by on our bicycles.

Oh no you didn’t you —

Get me some crisps from the market and I’ll —

Like hell Rooney would miss that shot even if he was wearing a

Street vendors were shouting about how their kebabs were the best in town. All I could smell was curry. My stomach rumbled about not having eaten anything before we had started drinking.

“Shit, pull over here. I think my mate Drew is in there,” Josh yelled over his shoulder.

We locked up our bikes outside of this squat brick building with a broken neon sign that said, “The Mirror” above a dark door.

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Josh opened the door and we all piled into the front half of a antechamber that smelled of vomit, cigarette smoke, and rancid bourbon. The other half of the room was taken up by a giant who wore a name tag that said, “Hello, my name is Benny.

“It’s cool Benny they are with me,” Josh said walking towards the door that Benny guarded.

Benny let everyone through but as I moved past him Benny shoved me into the wall and said, “The fuck is your problem?”

From the open door I could hear a Kooks song on the Juke Box.

“Excuse me?” I asked Benny.

“Oh shite, I’m sorry mate,” Benny said brushing off my shoulders with a genuine look of surprise on his face. “You looked like this American cunt who was in here the other night trying to pick up the girlfriends of our regulars. If you a friend of Josh then you’re a friend of mine.”

“Thanks, Benny. If that American guy comes back around give him a thrashing for me would you?”

Benny just winked at me and held open the door.

The interior of The Mirror was lit in a dim red light. The music was louder once I was fully in the bar. Josh passed me a shot of bourbon and we all shouted something intelligible before throwing them back.

Someone changed the music to The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. We went down some stairs in the back of the club and the smell of a locker room hit me in the face like a right hook.

I could hear what sounded like whip cracks coming from further in the basement. When my eyes got used to the bright fluorescent light I could see that it was actually a man kicking pads in a small roped off area with a bunch of guys in suits standing around talking. The man was wearing loose white pants and a leather motorcycle jacket with no shirt. He had short cropped black hair and was looked like a tiger had decided to take human form for the night. When he heard people coming down the steps he turned around and smiled.

“Josh, what the fuck are you doing down here mate?” The guy asked us as we approached.

“Drew, we got some work cross town and I wanted to see if you were up for it. I didn’t realize you were getting ready for a fight though. I would have left you to it,” Josh told him.

“Oh, I had the fight already. It was just over a bit too early so I decided to get a workout in,” Drew told us while making a vague gesture with his left hand.

A man was laid out on his back and I could see that he was breathing. No one else in the room seemed concerned for his well being.

Then we were back on our bikes riding across town. Arcade Fire was just playing as we rode across town, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from or why it was playing.

Then we were sitting on our bikes in front of the dark monstrosity of a house. The windows appeared to lean outwards and reflected the street lights with malice. My mates and I stared at the house and for a minute I could feel the hesitation from us all.

I watched Benny pick up a brick and look over at me and he threw it at the building. Where had Benny come from I thought? Wait, who were these other people I was with before Josh came to the pub? Was I really about to rob some house?

The sound of glass breaking woke me up. I had been drooling on a picture of a Barena Chambray shirt I was supposed to be writing copy for on Mr. Porter. Arcade Fire was coming from the living room and it sounded like my roommates Benny, Josh and Drew were drinking on a Thursday night again.

“That was my La Chouffe glass I had brought back from Beglium you dick!” Benny shouted.

100 words for a 230 dollar shirt seemed too difficult for me to tackle so I went out to the living room to drink with my roommates. Maybe they were interested in ordering some Curry takeout.

Writer of The Polymerist newsletter. Talk to me about chemistry, polymers, plastics, sustainability, climate change, and the future of how we live.

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